The "I Seen" Guy

I decided it would be fun to have a regular feature on here about the questionable messages I get. I used to try to group them together, or link them together in some sort of theme, but it doesn't always work out that way. So instead, I'll be posting one-off messages!

To start us off, here's a message I received Saturday morning, along with my reply:

(Sorry for my crappy box drawing skills.)

Okay, so I shouldn't have taken to bait. I don't mean to lead people on, and I'm not really trying to be mean, but I couldn't resist a little snark. I mean, it's Saturday morning - at this point, my weekend barely  has a dent in it. 

Almost immediately, he wrote back. When I didn't reply, I got the following messages:

"I seen." He used the phrase "I seen." It actually makes me cringe when people write or say "I seen." If you've been speaking English all of your life, you just shouldn't say "I seen." I know, it's kind of snobby and judgemental of me, but it's one of my biggest pet peeves.

Not to mention that last message is beyond a little creepy.Why is he watching my profile? Why does he know that I'd been online earlier? And why does he think I actually owe him a response?

"Hope we are cool and didn't scare u away." How...how would we not be cool? Is there some pseudo-possessive thing going on? Was his asking about my plans meant to be taken as him asking me out? Hmm.

So I sent him this reply:

That was the nicest way of saying "stop being a creeper, creeper" I could think of without actually saying it. Next time, I think I'll just say it. 

Hilariously, just as I was starting to screenshot the conversation for this very post, I got this reply:

He seen my profile again! 

But yeah...no. First off, he's full of shit. Even if he saw our message thread in his inbox, he would have to go to my profile to know when I'd last been online. I just checked for myself: clicking on someone's username in your inbox will take you the message thread, NOT their profile. To get to their profile from your inbox, you have to open the message thread, then click on their username. So he purposely checked when I was last online, then lied about it. 

Secondly, I'm not 100% sure I understand what that last sentence is supposed to mean. My best guess is  "IS that bad I did that." 

So needless to say, I don't think he's the one for me. He's harmless enough, and this really is my fault for replying in the first place. But I think I seen this guy for the last time.