OKCupid’s app has a function that
lets you make a “broadcast.” It’s essentially like Twitter – you have 140
characters to say what’s on your mind. Ideally, you are supposed to suggest a
date idea, and those interested will message you.
I decided to give it a try. Not
because I necessarily wanted to go out on a date with a complete and total
stranger, but I wanted to see how this whole thing worked, what kind of people
replied and if it was worth trying out for real.
The short answer: no.
The main problem with this is
something I mentioned moments ago: these people are complete and total strangers. Whenever you meet up in person with
someone you’ve met online, you have usually exchanged messages first. They’re
still kind of a stranger, but at least you know a little about them beforehand.
With this broadcast feature – in my limited experience – you get responses from
people who have never even said hello to you before. Had I gone through with
any of the offers to take me out, I would have taken an incredible risk, in
terms of my safety and having an enjoyable night. (And indeed, some of the
responses have been from guys with whom I’m horribly matched.)
Maybe it’s just me and how I
prefer to handle myself in the dating world, but there is not way I’d ever go
out and meet up with someone who I know literally nothing about. Online dating
is nothing like meeting someone at a bar or coffee shop – at least in those
circumstances, you can make observations and educated guesses about someone’s
personality and your chemistry with that person. In the virtual world, you have
no such luxury.
In all honesty, I think guys in
general tend to care less about this stuff than women. From the people I’ve
talked to, and from what I’ve read, in general men seem to prefer meeting as
quickly as possible, whereas women are more likely to want to exchange messages
before meeting. And maybe that’s the inherent problem with me – I definitely
like to get as much of a feel as I possibly can of someone’s personality before
I agree to meet.
A strange observation: a good
chunk of the replies I got where “Yes, but only if you come here.” On the one
hand, fair enough. I didn’t specify where I wanted to meet up (I suggested
coffee or a drink), and my general rule of thumb is to offer to go to the
person when I suggest hanging out.
It’s just so fascinating to me
that a lot of guys would respond that way. Again, it’s completely fair since I
am, as I made perfectly clear, a complete stranger. They don’t owe me a damn
thing. Maybe I’m just not used to it – after all, every single guy I’ve met
online has offered to meet somewhere close by to me, if we don’t live near each
other. I guess my ego is a little brusied to hear someone say “You’re only
worth it if you come to me.”
Overall, while I think the
feature is interesting in theory, it’s not too practical. Maybe if it were for
a friend-finding site, it would be useful. But on the whole, I don’t think too
many women would actually use it seriously, and I don’t think too many men
would get a lot of positive responses to the dates they suggest.
Bottom line: If you’re looking for a hook-up, it just might be your
new best friend. But if you’re someone like me – you prefer an actual
courtship, for a lack of a better term, and you’re looking for some more
substantial than casual sex – skip it.
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